decisions

I know that I am young and I do not know a lot about life, but I am confused. I have been with my boyfriend for three years and thing have always been wishy washy at times. We moved in together this year. He is three years older than me, but he definitley doesn't act his age. Since we have moved in together things have got a lot worse. I know people have to learn to live with others, but I thought I knew him better that I really did. He does a lot of things that I do not approvee of, but I have finally gave up the fight and now I ignore those things. I do not want to be that kind of person. He tells me how much he loves me, but he does not try to work on anything and make things better. I am the one who tries to make things better and it doesn't work without his part too. I do love him, but I am not happy anymore and he doesn't care to listen or talk about it. Also, another problem is that we do not see eye to eye on a lot of things. He expects me to date him for 8 or 9 years before we get married. I am not willing to do that. You can not put a time line on things like that. I think that this is my fault because we are practically married without the papers and now he sees no reason to get married. My grandmother has always told me,"Why buy the cow when the milk is free?". I always thought that she was old fashioned and crazy, but know that makes sense. Is it my fault that we are having these problems? Is it everyone's fault for realtionships failing because we do things backwards? I do not know the answers to these questions, but it does make you wonder that if we did things like the older generations did, would we have less failed realtionships and marriages?